{"id":1527,"date":"2021-11-11T21:41:29","date_gmt":"2021-11-11T21:41:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jameshaggertyrecovery.com\/?p=1527"},"modified":"2021-11-11T22:19:06","modified_gmt":"2021-11-11T22:19:06","slug":"do-your-best-okay-to-fail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jameshaggertyrecovery.com\/blog\/do-your-best-okay-to-fail\/","title":{"rendered":"What It Means to Do Your Best and Why It\u2019s Okay to Fail in the Process"},"content":{"rendered":"
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In most competitive sports, some kind of score or scoring system matters. Scoring is a metric we use to find out who \u201cwon\u201d but also to see where we measure up personally (or as a team) in our growth. With cold, hard statistics, it is easy to find out what level at which athletes are performing. From that, they can learn where to improve.<\/p>\n
To a weightlifter, success is measured in pounds (or kilograms) that they are able to lift well and with good quality form. For them, lifting a barbell heavier than they ever had before is what is called their \u201cpersonal best\u201d or \u201cpersonal record.\u201d<\/p>\n
One might often hear at a gym, \u201cMy deadlift PR is 240 lbs.\u201d Now, that lifter has a number by which to measure their future goals and triumphs. This is very simple, yes?<\/p>\n
How exactly does this equate to doing one\u2019s best, and who might not be weightlifters or athletes? Is there a metric we can measure for more intangible goals?<\/p>\n
How might this be used in recovery, and is failure an option? I\u2019ve discovered that \u201cdoing my best\u201d is often the first step in achieving something great, but it\u2019s not the last step.<\/p>\n
Going back to the weightlifter example, even those at a professional level with \u201cpersonal bests\u201d and records are not going to be able to adequately achieve those goals 100% of the time. Perhaps the weightlifter in question had a great breakfast, was highly motivated that day, and a specific muscle group was working at peak performance.<\/p>\n
Any one of these factors would have assisted them in reaching their PR. This does not, however, guarantee they will be able to lift that same weight in the correct way every single time. Their \u201cbest\u201d is tangible and knowable to them \u2013 they are aware they can do it because they have achieved it before \u2013 but it does not guarantee success across the board until the end of time. Likewise, if they get injured while performing an exercise, suddenly, their recovery might shift what their \u201cbest\u201d means.<\/p>\n
You might be saying to yourself, \u201cI\u2019m not a weightlifter \u2013 this doesn\u2019t apply to my sobriety,\u201d but it absolutely does, in a metaphorical sense. Society often thinks that, because we can achieve something once at our peak level, we are able to achieve that all the time.<\/p>\n
It is easy for society or individuals to look in from the outside and scrutinize our every action, but we are not machines. We cannot perform functions perfectly on cue. Recovery is just like any repeated behavior. Practice makes perfect, but society doesn\u2019t have to live with us every day to judge our routines.<\/p>\n
So, we shouldn\u2019t really be listening to their definition of success in the first place. Simply, this is an entirely personal thing. Should one be trying to achieve their best every day in our sobriety? Absolutely. Should a person also be reasonably able to accept their failures and learn from them? Unequivocally, yes.<\/p>\n
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\u201cFailure\u201d on its face has a very negative connotation, but it is up to us to retrain our brains to recognize what exactly failure looks like and how to push through it. The first thing one should do in exploring their personal best and trying to achieve it is figure out what failure looks like to them, personally. Is \u201cfailure\u201d synonymous with quitting in your mind?<\/p>\n
If it is, then it\u2019s time to disabuse you of that notion: Failure does not mean stopping, and it does not mean you are unable to achieve positive results later. As said in the hit Netflix series, Daredevil: \u201cIt ain\u2019t how you hit the mat, it\u2019s how you get back up.\u201d However, the realities of failure and substance abuse are not always as portrayed in the media<\/a>.<\/p>\n Once you have visualized what failure might be for you (i.e., drinking or using drugs, in terms of recovery), it\u2019s important to make a plan for how YOU would get back up? Having an exit strategy is another crucial part of the failure process.<\/p>\n It\u2019s important to note that pushing through your failures is completely different than letting them go altogether. We, as humans, have a guilt complex and tend to carry things around with us like a lead weight.<\/p>\n Say, for instance, you have been sober\/abstinent from alcohol for six months straight. Your friends and family are proud of you, and you are likewise proud of yourself. Six months, in this instance, is your personal best and your current goal is to go six more months without a drink. Then, you fail. An acquaintance who does not know of your sobriety offers you a beer. You’re unsure how to cope with triggers<\/a>. You drink the beer, and suddenly…bam! You\u2019ve failed to reach your goal and are now back at day zero (or even negative 1) of your sobriety.<\/p>\n But you rally, and though you have had that one beer, you call your sponsor, tell them of your drink, and they advise you to go home and get out of the tempting situation. You make it home and continue your abstinence from alcohol for the rest of the evening.<\/p>\n The next day becomes officially \u201cday one\u201d of your sobriety again, and at your next Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, you tell the group you are one day sober at your next meeting the following day.<\/p>\nOvercoming Failure Versus Letting it Go<\/h2>\n